52 self portraits
I have committed to doing 52 self portraits, one each week starting from this week. I decided to do it because I often falter on things like this even though I know how amazing it is for creativity. And when you are both excited and terrified its usually a good sign. So I’m jumping in. Committing to dedicating time to my art of photography, and seeing myself in a new way. Every week. Ive got accountability through an online group run by Katie K (Heart story) so I’m feeling positive even though the task is daunting!
They might not be my best photos (but they might be!), but I wanted to document and share my journey in an honest, real, and authentic way. Thank you for being here. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Come back each week for the next instalment if you are following on in real time.
All images taken by me on my Canon R6 with RF 50 1.2 lens or for underwater RF 15-35 (unless stated otherwise).
After dealing with a 45minute meltdown from my daughter before school this morning (over seemingly nothing), I felt a little deflated and resigned…it’s hard to carry everything sometimes. I saw this pocket of light and took some deep breaths…She is my biggest teacher.
Sasha is my kids dog, but I like to think she’s chosen me to be her person. Instead of saying goodbye to 2 kids every second week I now say goodbye to 3. I do love knowing she’s looking after my babies when they are at their dads though. Even if I do sleep better when she’s snuggled in next to me.
This morning I was feeling a little stir crazy in the house with the rain pouring down outside, and the kids arguing inside. The rain was getting heavier and heavier. As I was flipping pancakes I decided I needed to run outside in the rain and just be present with my shitty vibes. It was cold and very wet and I just went with it knowing I could have a warm shower after.
Of course the rain just about stopped by the time I got my camera in a safe place, but I didn’t care-It didn’t take long until I was laughing.
This week I had the best intentions to do my shoot ahead of time, but by sunday afternoon I was on my flight back to Perth and I hadn’t yet done my shoot. I pondered as I looked out at the ever changing scene through my window and had thoughts that window scenes could be likened to our ever changing emotions. Constantly changing and flowing and reminding us that nothing stays the same, our feelings feel so big at the time but it’s a cycle to appreciate the light and dark and all shades between. Shot on an iPhone 12.
This week I had the pleasure of doing an amazing underwater photoshoot in a beautiful deep pool that was also warm. This is luxury at this time of year in Perth! I couldn’t not do a self portrait at the end, so I set my camera to interval timer and got my model to hold the the camera in one spot for me like a human tripod. Its such a challenge not knowing when the image is being taken but so much fun to see what did turn out.
I absolutely love how the water grounds me and gets me out of my head and fully into my body. It’s challenging but a moving meditation at the same time.
This week I really felt the loneliness of my kid free week. I usually get stuck into work and don’t have time to think about it- but I really felt into it and it felt so dark and heavy.
This week I watched the movie Encanto with my daughter and loved the messages. I didn’t intentionally create this doorway for this weeks self portrait-but it made me think of the movie when I saw it straight away.
We all have gifts, and the greatest gift is to see ourselves with love.
Phew. What. A. Week. I was sick with the flu , it was full moon, and honestly I felt like I had hit some sort of emotional overwhelm rock bottom. I couldn’t stop crying, and once I cried I’d cry some more.
I took this self portrait the day after rock bottom. Onwards and upwards.
I was inspired the other day to do a photoshoot in the shower with a sliver of light that comes through the crack in the door that I saw one night having a bath with a candle. Turns out the candle was needed too, but it was fun!
I couldn’t decide on one so you get way too many in a collage that completely grains on me but here we are
I didn’t have a particular idea in mind but just “All of me is welcome”.
An absolute wonderful day catching up with my bestie of 22 years and her youngest who we bribed to walk the epic long Byron lighthouse walk with us for an ice cream 🙂
An accidental self portrait. I had turned the camera around ready to take some portraits after finishing a session with a client explaining to them I’m doing this crazy self portrait thing every week and not to mind me for a second taking photos of myself ha! I actually got some posed ones but I love this the most because its a totally real moment.
A week of togetherness felt so good. We don’t get every day together with our fifo life but we make the days count. A big week of work, and making dinners and washing dishes, and just being.
See you next week, Jaz Xx